It’s fun to look at some of our earlier writing isn’t it? It can take us back to a time when we were feeling certain emotions and in quite different places in our lives. I wrote the following poem on September 10, 2007. I was artistically stifled, (pre-blog) and working a lot of hours. I had to steal time in the morning before work to write my novel and I didn’t have much of a social life to speak of. I did have someone I was seeing casually and after having a disagreement with them, Passionate Betrayal was born. Nothing in the poem was related to the discord, but channeling my frustration through the story was very cathartic.

It’s also eerie to me now that in the story I speak of a half-sister and just last year I learned that I indeed do have a half-sister! We met for the first time in July. Was I speaking her into existence? Hmmm. Wishful thinking perhaps at that time.

I hope that my lyrical skills have sharpened since writing this. I cringed after reading a few lines, but I’m leaving them in to keep the integrity of the post. Please pardon the coarseness, but as most of you know depending on the subject matter, I find it hard to hide in my writing. I try to burn the page each time I disgorge literally and this work is no exception.

As I look at where I am now just four years after writing this, I’m glad to note that I still work out a lot emotions through my writing, but I have more of an outlet to do so now that I have a blog. I work a lot less hours (currently looking for full-time work) and what I lack in steady employment, I more than make up for in creative time which has helped me connect to some amazing bloggers and other artists and produce some writing that I’m really proud of. I’m still as passionate about my craft now as I was then. I hope in another four years I will be looking back on this post as a published author and established screenwriter. In my minds eye I imagine myself heading to a book signing or a TED event as a speaker. Today I flashed back so it’s only fitting that I flash forward, right?

CHALLENGE: Select a past poem, short story, essay or blog post from a few years back and reflect on what you were feeling. If you had to write the same piece today, how would it be different? How have you changed since then? Are you happy with the changes? If not, what do you plan to do about it?

Passionate Betrayal

my passion is endless

from sun up to sun down

my mind charts a path of

sensual delights to revel in

i almost can’t remember

how you smell or feel because you are

so far away from me

in the federal state pen

i know,  i know

a girl as smart as me

should have ran in the opposite direction

when I learned of your various crimes

but I was drawn to you

the way you move, the slight tilt of your jaw

and most importantly your erection

there would be no deflection when you

undressed me that day with your eyes

flipped me over and gave me your juicy surprise

all the while I was preparing to walk across

the stage to get my prize

a piece of paper that

would be my ticket to ride

while you were snatching and grabbing anything

you could find

you came home smelling of secret deals and sweaty gun fights

while I drew your bath and adorned us in candlelight

a little fantasy will wipe away reality i told myself

as you attempted to hide your street wounds and battle bruises

i can’t help the way the danger made me feel

alive, riveted, plugged in and turned out

you made me forget the struggles of my journey

trying to be the good girl while others made all the money

with you i could be both,

the smart sassy sister by day

and the bling wearing cristal drinking

ghetto socialite by night

you brought out my dark side

my goodness subsided

as i lived your truth

you drained my youth

and my love canal too

after you were done I had no juice,

you licked me dry

with your tongue, your lips and your sweet talk

so much so that I almost forgot my plan

my job was easy they said

just get him into bed you know

do that thing you do

you know you got that bomb killer cum inducing head

that very first night that we lay down together

when you stretched me out hitting every spot

working me in slow motion until I spit out your love potion

i loathed every inch of that

sweet fat ass dick

you fed me

so generously

but i had to do it baby cuz u see

well that was my half-sister you led down the alley that night

as she started to take flight and soar

up on angel wings

her voice resonated in my dream as her soul started to sing

it’s last song and in that bittersweet refrain

she told me your name and what you did to her

and how she came to lose her soul that day

she begged me in a chorus to avenge her death

and make you pay

so I obliged

while you were filling me up with all of your cum

and telling me secrets you rendered yourself dumb

i took it all in and pretended to be your lover and friend

when all the while I was doing you in

i wish I could say I hated you more with each passing day

but as a true archer you know I can’t LIE

with every hip thrust, deep soul kiss, explicit verbal exchange

and ear-splitting orgasm I learned what my sister must have known so well

never trust a 12 inch dick, bulging biceped motherfucker with a sideways story to tell

all it will get you is a broken heart, a pussy that swells and a cold and lonely ass jail cell

yes, I’m locked down too boo

i couldn’t let them do my dirty work for me

i set it up and did it all just to turn state’s evidence on you

i had a good teacher you see

i studied your every move and watched you intensely

i’ll serve my time that’s for sure

and i’ll be waiting on you when you’re done with yours

time doth heal all wounds

and I’m looking forward to fucking you again real soon

don’t worry my sister will forgive me

she knows how irresistible good dick can be

© 2011 – 2014, TamekaMullins. All rights reserved.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.